Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Meaning of Love and Soulmate: My Take on the Whole Thing

Let me change the pace for once. I know, I was doing good with my usual rants now let me digress for a moment.

Today's topic is love. Love is in many forms. Love of God, love of mate, love of family, love of friends, love of belief, etc, in the end of the day, the different forms of love have a common thing that makes it called love: there is a special, deep attachment to whatever the thing is.

What about finding your "soulmate"? What is a soulmate? I *used* to believe that a soulmate is someone who fell in love with, a person whom makes your day, the thought of the person gives you a special feeling and the lost of the person will make you depressed and even hopeless in life. You think the signs are there, that God made this person special for you and you will be with that person forever.

But this is what I realized: when you fall in love, you will always think in some capacity that you found your soulmate, even if you are not aware of it or you don't believe you have.

When the person you are in love with does not stick with you through thick and thin, then what you thought is your soulmate no longer is your soulmate. He or she becomes an ex.

Now we get back to what is a soulmate? A person whom you love that will stick with you thick or thin, almost to the point that it is unconditional. Love is not just about convenience or being totally happy with a person but it is something that goes beyond emotion.

There is a difference between falling in love and loving a person. Falling is love is a process, loving a person is just a state. When you fall in love, your mind is totally focused on that person and no on else. You act differently, you in a special state where words cannot describe. It is an amazing feeling. You have found what you thought is your soulmate, a person that no one can replace, no matter what.

But as a relationship progresses, problems often occur. And when these problems occur, sometimes it can lead to anger and even hatred, and what you thought was your soulmate, your one till the day you die, the one that no one can even come close to replacing, becomes an ex.

When you become an ex and the attempts to reconcile fail, you make become depressed. A horrible illness to have, and very hard to overcome at times. You want to move on, but it's hard. If you can overcome this depression, you have won the war and the battle.

Now you go back to find what you call your soulmate. You thought you had one, you thought God placed all these signs, but you realized the person was not your soulmate.

As I said, a soulmate is a person whom you are in love with and will stick with you through thick and thin, if not, the love was more something of convenience and guess what else I found out...



At 1:13 PM, Blogger Rashad said...

Assalaam Alaikum,

This is another good post. Through my experience I would agree with most everything here. Something to think about maybe would be the actual meaning of love, and the type of love experienced. Like you had mentioned that "you can have more than one solumate". That could be proven if there are different types of love being experienced by that individual. For example, I love my wife, and may or may not be my soulmate. I could have an ex, or even another person somewhere that I have not been in love with but known, that is closer to my (beliefs, way of thinking, feelings on spirituality, etc.) "soul"
Just my humble opinion. Wasalaam.

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Samira said...

Words of wisdom--JAKs.

It would seem that often we don't/won't know that we have found our "soulmate" until Allah (Subhan wa Ta`Ala), Himself, reveals so through His Decree. I guess this would be more important for a person wondering if so-and-so is the one Allah has chosen. Because at the end of the day, that's what counts--which, if we think about it, is a relief, because who better to bless us with absolute mercy than Allah? And maybe this perspective might help us make better decisions. Wallahu `A'lam.


At 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice post. Although, I have to disagree with you on a small point. I think when you "love a person" that is true love...but when you "fall in love"...you do just that - you fall into the state of love...this false notion that you love the person, but you're actually in love with the idea of being in love. Not sure if that makes sense...but I agree, there can be more than one soulmate.

At 11:20 AM, Anonymous raioo said...

I agree 100% with your thoughts based on personal experience. I have to tell the people though that these kinds of thoughts will never make sense to anybody until they have gone through the thicks and thins, broken up, reconciled, broken up permanently, got depressed, restored their peace, made though decisions, shed tears, and stayed up nights thinking, or praying, or praying and shedding tears.

Such people might find God in the process, and it only makes them stronger and equip them with undescribable tools to end up with a soulmate at the end of the day that they deserve. For soulmates to last, it's better if they put love of God ahead of loving each other (which they may not necessarily start off with).


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